10 Simple Rules
April 24, 2007 by admin
10 Simple Rules
by Guest Writer: Denny
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The following are a list of rules of etiquette based solely on my personal experiences in online dating. I'm certain there are many more rules that other people can devise (and feel free to leave them on the comment page), but I figured 10 would be a solid number for now. Enjoy.
A few points regarding online dating:
1) If you live in another country, please don't be shocked if I point out that we probably won't be able to hook up. It's nothing personal, it's just that I can't afford to fly around the world for a blowjob.
2) Because you see my pic in my profile, I think it's more than reasonable if I request a pic of you. So please don't give me any grief when I ask for yours. You're only talking to me because you liked my pic (because let's be honest, how many people besides me actually reads the profiles hmmm?), why shouldn't I be allowed to see who I'm dealing with? And when I say pics, I mean at least a face pic, not one of your arm , your neck or your combat boots.
3) Using outdated (and by outdated I mean 10, 20+ years) or bogus pics to lure me to meet you for a date will result in your utter humiliation and yes everyone in the coffee shop will witness quite a spectacle. I have little tolerance for liars and even less tolerance for my time being wasted. No matter what you look like, resorting to such underhanded tactics is a testament of being a pathetic excuse of a person.
4) If you are shirtless in your profile pic, do not be surprised or offended if guys proposition you for sex.
5) If you are nude in your profile pic and are proudly displaying your genitalia, do not be surprised or offended if guys proposition you for sex.
6) Speaking of nude pics, I don't have any, so don't ask. It's not that I'm opposed to nude pics or anything, it's just that I like to show mine up close and personal for the right beau…..or beaus. Besides if I'm going to do porn, I'm going to get paid for it.
7) I respect your right to bareback and engage in other unsafe sexual activities. Please respect my right to only practice safe sex. I respect your right to cheat on your pregnant girlfriend or significant other, please respect my right in choosing not to be a homewrecker. While I enjoy threesomes, I don't do triangles and I don't play the role of the other man.
If you say you're going to hook up with someone, DO THE DAMN THING!! If not, then say so. In any event, do not waste people's time with the games and the bullshit. Flakiness is a crime that should be punishable by castration and if you piss off the wrong person online, that could very well be a possibility.
9) Just because someone who happens to be unattractive contacts you, does not mean that you have the right to treat them like garbage. They're human beings and should be treated with respect unless they do something to warrant otherwise. Whether someone is attractive or deformed, you should be appreciative of the fact that they find you attractive or interesting or whatever. Beauty is a privilege not a right. Snubbing other people in order to feel better about one's self is another testament of being a pathetic excuse of a person. Even if they proposition you, as long as they're respectful, you should treat them with the type of dignity that you'd want to be treated with.
10) Rejection is a part of the dating process. It's not fun to be rejected, but rarely (if ever) is it an excuse to act like a petulant child. If your potential interest rejects your advances in a courteous manner, pay him the same respect by accepting his decision with grace and class. Throwing temper tantrums or lying about how you have legions of better looking guys all wanting the chance to jump down your pants isn't going to make your interest change his mind. It will simply confirm for him that he made the right decision in the first place. In the end, you'll be the only one looking, acting and feeling like a complete fool.
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