Flirty Flirty – Forty Forty
August 11, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
Flirty, flirty there’s life after forty! More true life confessions from BestGayBlogs.com and Seafront Diaries blogger Jason Shaw. Read more
The True Mark Of Friendship?
August 10, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
Jason Shaw, the kooky eccentric English guy is back with more true life confessions from his Seafront Diaries. This time, since Sunday August 1st was “Friendship Day”, exploring the true mark of friendship?? Read more
Jay Brannan Talks To Jason Shaw
August 10, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
Jason Shaw, top blogger from The Seafront Diaries and gayagenda.com’s UK correspondent managed to secure an exclusive interview with one of the most elusive New York based singer song-writers around at the moment, the highly talented Jay Brannan! Read more
Be More Faggy!
August 1, 2010 by admin · Leave a Comment
I personally didn’t think it could be possible, but this little Idol wannabe is claiming that Idol producers wanted him to be a little more gay than he already is, then didn’t like it. Read more
Still Angry!
July 11, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
As nit picking, persnickety and utterly fastidious Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce earned a place in the hearts of the millions of Frasier fans all over the world. Read more
Simpsons a No Show
July 8, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
It was a real case of D’oh last week for a gay Welsh couple that wanted massive models of Marge and Homer Simpson at their wedding. Read more
It’s A Bust!
July 7, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
It’s about to hit the headlines in the UK, pop superstar George Michael was arrested again early on Sunday morning, after more than a million people had been celebrating in London for Pride. Read more
To Date Or Not To Date…….
July 1, 2010 by Jason Shaw · 1 Comment
Stumped, yes pretty darn stumped, that’s what I was earlier, I was thinking so hard, steam was coming out of my ears! But it wasn’t the quantam physics of the third parallel, nor was it the navigation of the monopolistic symbiotic neurotransmitting mesolimbic pathways that fuddled my state of mind clarity. No, the thing that was halting me in tracks was simply blurb, or the writing of some blurb that was halting my creative juices.
Now, anyone whose read some of my stuff will know that I don’t usually have any trouble in blurb writing, I love the stuff, I mean I even got paid for writing speeches a little while ago, and they are nothing but longer bit of blurb really!
However, this particular blurb was different because it was, well, it was about me, now, call me Queen Silly of the Silly people if you want, but I find it hard to talk or rather, write about myself. OK, so you read this blog, you know that’s not quite true, because I write about myself all day long, but, this blurb was for a dating profile, so it couldn’t be the warts and all waffle I create here. No, it had to be something a little bit more punchy, exciting, enticing and well, I guess interesting.
It’s hard to sell yourself, honestly it is, at least in this context, it’s something I’m so not used to doing. I can’t really remember the last time I’ve done this, putting a profile on a dating site, sure I’ve got bio’s and biogs on various profiles, on various sites, like this blog, MySpace, the writing directory and such like, but not dating sites. I mean, I met my ex online, sure, but on a different site, nothing to do with dating, and the ex before him I met in a bar, and the one before that I think was on a train, either that or it was at the station, details are a tad hazy now. Previous to him I’m sure was a friend of a friend of a friend.
So, here I am, thinking, trying to write something about me, to make me sound interesting, or at least interesting enough to want to enquire further, maybe even meet for a drink, or a date or whatever it is people do these days. It’s a puzzle really, put too much in and you sound like an over pompous self important arrogant jackass. Not enough and you sound like you’ve not got much to say for yourself and in in fact only marginally better company that ditch water, and that’s only because unlike ditch water, you don’t make the other person ill!
A certian amount of humour is a bonus, but I’m guessing a little too much and you’ll seem like a bit of a fool, someone not to be taken seriously and thus not have any serious replies. Of course humour is subjective, what I may think is a sweet little jokey statement others could judge as a sarcastic snyide snip. But, of course having said that, you don’t want to appear to be lacking in that department, a dull dry sourpuss isn’t going to generate a lot of replies.
In short, placing a profile on a dating or introduction site is a veritable nightmare, so much can depend upon a few words written on a screen. I mean, the future Mr Shaw may just happen to be reading it, so it better be good, you never know, it could happen. Yes indeed, MR Right, instead of Mr Right-Now could be a viewer. OK, admittedly, that is a slim chance, a million to one shot, but stranger things have happened, I’m sure they have! Man’s walked on the moon for crying out loud, so anyway, I flicked on the brain cell and this is what I came up with
“Hey, thanks for stopping by, I’m Jason, I’m 40 and ready for the next adventure life has to offer. I’m kind, funny, sometimes shy, loyal, cuddly, affectionate, I like to try new things, but sometimes have to have a little push to make the jump. I’m into all the normal things, going out having a good time, eating, drinking, clubbing, cycling, walking, watching sunrise and sunsets, writing, blogging are pretty much most of what I do. Oh I do like to travel when I can afford it. I like most kinds of music, I’m more a romantic comedy kinda movie person, I’m more often found in the kitchen at parties, I’m more on a bit player on the sidelines than the main attraction, which suits me. I can be a bit quiet at times, especially when I’m thinking about something. I want to be a writer and do a daily blog that hardly anyone reads. I’ve fulfilled ambitions, now looking for something else.”
So what do you think? Is this gonna grab me a hunk of burning love, a strapping sixpac baring piece of man-love? A studenty stud-muffin wanting an experienced hand to guide the way to true love? A sweet adorable troubled yet passionate twenty something with puppy dog eyes needing security and stability? A rich high flying American with a private jet and a black credit card? A passing surfer waiting for the next wave? A cross country skier, whose forgotten to wax his skis for the summer? A middle aged Australian who needs help on his wine estate? A beach cleaner wanting to rest his weary feet under someone else’s table for a change? Errrm……..
A young friend said the other day, that he’d never thought of oldies joining dating sites and the like, he almost brushed it off as if we haven’t met anyone to settle with by the time we’re 40 we’re probably gonna be on our own forever! Charming! But, in a way he does have a point, in out age obsessed society, it is harder to get on out there and date as one advances in years. There are restrictions, unwritten, unspoken perhaps, but there are restrictions on some aspects of dating as you get older. For example, seeing a chubby 40 year old mincing around to Lady GaGa in a tight fitting muscle T, that reveals a not so stunning ninepac isn’t the most attractive sight on the stage at Revenge or Honey? Keeping up with the younger generation isn’t just about wearing young clothes and dancing to the latest pop or dance track. Looking for love on the scene, isn’t always an option, for example as an old mate David remarked, ”I go out on the scene now and it’s littered with ex’s and previous shags, I’m not gonna find love amongst that lot”
So there we are dear friends, it’s the old age dilemma, to date or not to date? Is this a net arms reach for happiness, or a lazy mans attempt at happiness. I mean lazy because I could get off my lardy arse and join a club, or a choir or well, I’m not sure what else there is I could join, however this is Brighton and it’s got a club for everything. There’s even a one legged lesbians crochet club, with obviously limited membership requirements and not my sort of thing, but proof if proof was needed that, out ‘there’ there is a place for everyone, so how about for me, where is my place? Can I find it in time? Will I find more answers than questions? Whens the next adventure going to start? And why have I got wind?
More on The Seafront Diaries real soon.
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| Photo taken from Vera’s Big Gay Blog |
“A deeply engaging and personal blog, laced with wit, humour, and a healthy dose of reality”
© 2010 Copyright Jason Shaw
Tidy Mind……
June 27, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
Anal. Sometimes I think I’m a little anal, just a tad you understand. Other times I think I must have some mild form of OCD or something of that nature, then there are other times I when I really go off the radar and start to worry about my sanity! But, I guess you, the readers of Best Gay Blogs, kinda knew that anyway!
This morning, after doing housework, like dusting, vacuuming, repositioning the glassware in height order, I decided to tidy my wardrobe, as one does. Now, when I say I tided it, I don’t just mean folding things up and placed them on shelves to the left, nor do I mean I putting them back on coat-hangers to re-hang them on the rail. Oh no, not a chance of that, Oh No, when Jase says he tided his wardrobe, what he really means is he took everything out of it, piled it up on the bed, smiled, longingly at the D & G jeans that are now four sizes too small and have more hope of winning next years Brighton marathon on their own then getting over my flabby thighs again!
I then took time and put all my clothes back in the wardrobe or closet if you’re American, but unlike before, when they we just put in randomly all higgledy-piggledy, nope, this time they were assigned, located and allocated a space on the rail in strict order of colour. Yes, I rearranged my wardrobe so it was all colour coordinated. All the shades of blue together on the left, blending all the way to white at the other end, all the colours of the spectrum located together. But not only that, but obviously ordered within that, the realignment of hues, so the darkest first on the left side blending to the lightest on the right.
I have no idea the amount of time I spent on this task, but surly it’s not exactly normal for a bloke to be so anal about where he hangs his shirts, his baggy tops, his muscle T’s! It’s not the first time I’ve done something like this, I used to, if I’m blatently honest, used to do something similar, where I put certain makes together – you know a section of Abercrombie, a section for Hollister, a section for American Eagle and so on and so forth. But I kinda stopped that, ages ago, although now, I’m not all together sure why.
Pants! Yes pants, I remember now, is another thing I used to be rather OCD about, every January I would buy myself 16 pairs of pants ( To my American reader, when I say pants, I mean it in the English way, which means undercrackers, you know, underwear!) I would then throw all my old ones away, except my lucky ones, because I liked the feel and support of new pants each year. You’ll think I’m mad, really mad and a touch anal, perhaps even bordering on obsessive here, but in my undies draw I used to have them all sorted in rows, neatly folded, four pairs to a row! I know, crazy of what? In my defense I’d say I was adopting the whole ‘A tidy desk is a tidy mind’ philosophy! Yet that defense would be blown right out the water by one peek at my actual desk, which has more in common with Einstein. It’s where the chaos theory runs supreme and, as the great man once said,“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then what are we to think of an empty desk?” But why then, am I so anal and tidy to the point of compulsion in the bedroom and chaotic and messing in the office? Surly if I had OCD I’d be making everything tidy, books aligned in order of height, paper clips all turned to face the same way, drawing pins grouped in terms of coloured heads, the spoons in the spoon draw would all be nicely placed with the bowl part facing down, the forks neatly stacked, the knifes handles downward and blades all pointing in the same direction – oh hold on a minute, they are like that – narr, only kidding! Everything ordered, everything neat, a place for everything and everything in place!
It’s a puzzle, although I’m sure any therapist worth his salt would come up with a good, balanced psychological reason for my behaviour, although charge me an arm and leg in the process. Then of course there are others that would inform me that I’m performing a compartmentalization of my life, or taking control again, whilst others would perhaps spout off that I have rather less to do in my bedroom that I would wish and am therefore filling that time with something else! I’m sure there is a perfectly reasonable sane reason for my actions, however all I really know is that I started my colour co-ordination of my wardrobe in the morning, before ‘This Morning’ started and when I stopped ‘Loose Women’ was just finishing! Or to put that in an American time frame, I started when Good Morning America was on and finished as the Ellen show was rolling it’s credits! Yeah, that long!!!
Oh well, the high light for tomorrow is…..the book shelf!
© 2010 Copyright Jason Shaw
Call The Plumber…..
June 26, 2010 by Jason Shaw · Leave a Comment
Yesterday morning I was just gazing out of my bedroom window after getting out of bed, wondering what the weather was like. I peered up the road and then down the road, checking the summery weather had really done a bunk for the day and left behind Mr Gloomy in it’s place. In short, it wasn’t pleasant, in fact it was rather dull and depressing, I mean we’re in June for pity sake, surly our weather allowance should be more than just two or three sunny days a month?
I debated going for a ride, but that grey cloud over Hove looked menacing, the prospect of precipitation seemed quite high and besides, there was a big fluffy sesame bagel downstairs with my name on it, just begging to be toasted. OK, I lie, it had Sainsbury’s name on it, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, before I could grab my bathrobe and head on down the stairs to split and toast said bagel and brew some coffee, my eyes were drawn by a bright shiny bluey silver colour van with the words P D Plumbing Services on the side, which had pulled up over the other side of the road. OK, I’ll be honest, my eyes were actually drawn to the cute macho manly bit of stuff that was driving said van! He got out, grabbed a bag of tools from the rear and wondered in to one of the houses opportsit. My mind was left with the following thoughts, a) he was rather dishy. b) he had a nice arse. c) I’ve never dated or shagged a plumber. d) I like that bluey silver colour and e) that’s a strange word, plumbing!
But it is a strange word, plumbing. It’s just typical of the strange vagrancies of the English language, I mean, what the hell is that B doing there? You’ve got the sound of plum and then you’ve got the ‘ing’ bit, so what the doodlepip is B doing hanging around the middle, like a chav outside the chippy? It makes no sense, it’s not needed, it doesn’t sound, it’s silly, it’s confusing to forigners and well just makes things difficult really.
It’s no wonder that the UK has one of the highest dyslexia rates in Europe with all the funny spellings we have in every day language. There’s B’s that don’t need to ‘b’ there, silent U’s ph’s that sound like F’s . I mean it’s a wonder that any of us can spell at all with the way we spell things and make them sound all different. In my mind pneumonia shouldn’t have the p there at all with the u being a w and you should be able to drill with a numatic drill not a pneumatic one. And another thing, why is there a u in colour, the American’s don’t have one, but we do. It’s a recipe for disaster if you ask me, which could very well be the reason we don’t have many ’spelling bees’ over here!Yes, there are many words that seem to make little sense to the fuddled mind, so many different rules in the English language that really have no place being there and yet the very same thing can have very different sounds or meanings. Take CH for example, as in chair and chat, yet put it together again in for a different sound for things like Christopher and Christmas! You get what I mean now, don’t you? I could go on forever, really I could, dancing around you, your and you’re, or wonder if you read read right as read or as read!!
Yes, so there I was, considering the very nature and origin of B in plumbing, yes I know it comes from plumbum for lead in latin, which always struck me as kind of interesting in the smutty giggly way that the word bum would do to a bored 13 year old at the back of the class in school. But there you are, words mean so much and so little, what’s funny to some would be boring to others. But, why the heck did those Latin lads put a B there in the first place and why have we, and by we, I mean the learned modern man, not take it out as a bloody useless addition to a word that just doesn’t need it?
And hey, what’s the deal with a word that’s spelt the same yet has two different meanings? I’ll give you a couple of examples, the bandage was wound around the wound. And the farm was used to produce produce. OK, here’s another one, errm, yeah, the dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. Oh and while we’re on a roll here, how about this, you know you really should polish the Polish furniture! How bout this, the soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. And thinking on, this is perhaps my favorite, since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
Yes, there are loads more just like that, words with double meanings, words with silent letters, words that are are spelled out in such strange ways, that it defies the understanding of a simpleton like me, it just leaves me a little more confused than I was before and I was pretty darn fuddled before!
And whilst we’re on the subject of words and language, let me tell you another thing that really gets to me, actually pisses me of no end. Is people that feel the need to correct every single grammatical or spelling mistake they see and adopt that ‘I’m smarter than you’ superiour attitude. It’s not that they want to help, they just want to get one over on you, or demonstrate their knowledge of semantics of pronouns and the correct use of an ampersand and whatever. I think such people, such language snobs, really do need to given themselves a little shake, because quite often they are far too busy correcting others mistake to actually read and get the message!
Oh and I’ve finally picked up a book I’ve been meaning to read for ages, it was recommended to me, but hitherto time has eluded me, however, at last I’ve picked up House Of Leaves! I’ll let you know if I can work out the rather unorthodox tome!
I’ve got to go now, there’s a plumber at my door……. don’t I wish…….
© 2010 Copyright Jason Shaw
