It’s strange what you learn, when you least expect it, gayagenda.com’s UK correspondent and top blogger from England, tells how sometimes it a view from ‘outside the box’ that tells how it really is! Read more
Coming out is a process that appears to be easy for some men but also difficult for some other men. The real question is can you date someone that is still in the closet?
A friend said to me once that he would not date anyone that is still in the closet. He would also not date a guy that is “half in and out.” Not to mention, someone that goes to gay club still is not out enough for him to go out with.
I agree to the point that it is not easy to date someone that is very much in the closet. One that is afraid of this and that when it comes to public exposure even when there are no people around. What is your take on that?
Let them know at: Another M4M Blog!
After any break, you feel the need for validation. You want to know you are still attractive…you are still desired…well at least I do. Some have comfort foods, take drugs and alcohol. Read more
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t contributed very much to Best Gay Blogs over the last few weeks, of course some of you have far to busy life’s to have noticed such a silly thing like that, and I don’t blame you one little bit. Read more
Miles and miles apart, yet two lovers meet, it’s a love long distance, but can a relationship than spans the oceans survive? Or is a Trans Atlantic love affair doomed from the very start? Is there such a thing as a successful long distance relationship? I met my boyfriend online, and before you ask, it wasnt a dating site, nope it was from the blog I do Seafront Diaries, on MySpace. We chatted with the aid of instant messengers platforms, we simply got along great and we felt a strong connection even though there was an ocean between us. Oh did I forget to mention, I’m in England and he’s from Illinois in the good old US of A!
Distance seemed to matter little as we talked and talked over the net, hours and hours they would last, indeed our record duration for conversing like was an hour shy of 24! Yes, I kid you not, it really was that long, I know that might sound a bit over the top, but we just couldn’t stop talking. This may sound a little sad, perhaps even a little creepy to some of you, but on more than one occasion we even watched each other sleep on webcam. We went to bed together, albeit on different continents!
The attraction we held for each other was exhilarating, exciting and the most powerful I’ve ever experienced, and god knows I’ve had a lot of experience!
We had to see each other, yes there was the age difference, he was 20 and I was at the latter end of my 30’s, yes there was the distance nearly 4300 miles, yes we met over the internet, yes there were dozens of reasons for us not to go ahead with meeting up, but hey life is for living, isn’t it?
I jetted over, for a two week vacation, which was absolutely wonderful and I wished it could last forever, the bond we found online only multiplied when we met in the flesh. Cupid sure pulled back his bow and let those arrows flow, love was all around and we had a blast. I didn’t want the vacation to end, nor did he, but end it had to and flew home I did, with a heavy heart.
Matt must have felt the same explosion of emotion as within two weeks of my return to the UK he’d booked a flight and was on his way over to England and to cut a long story short, he ended up staying with me for 6 months. I’ve since been back to the States and stayed for three months in ‘our’ apartment in Illinois. I’ve never known three months fly by so fast as those three did and to old England I returned a couple of months ago.
We now face the prospect of a long distance relationship, an LDR, an ocean divides us, but do such long distance relationships work, can there be such a thing as a bi-national partnership. Can love conquer all or will distance divide? Does distance matter?
Some say distance matters and love can never last, Andrew a thirty-something gay guy from Brighton England says “There is no way such a long distance relationship could work, the distance is just too great, seeing each other would be so difficult, not to mention expensive. Sooner or later one or the other or both are gonna get board and fuck someone else”
Other’s are less vehement in their negativity, “Long distance relationship may last for older people, but younger ones, no, when your old you know what you want, but when you’re young you don’t know what you want” Tells Carman, a sweet Italian girl, who doesn’t look a day ofer 25 but is beyond 30, who had a lover in a different country between the ages of 14 and 24! But she does admit that they were not perahps a normal relationship. “He was my first love, my first boyfriend, which is different, but you really don’t know life at that age.”
“Of course a love affair that is honest and true can survive great distances in a short term, maybe two or three years, as long as in the future they will be together. It’s like something to look forward to!” Comments hopeless romantic Maureen 59 from Kettering.
As the internet grows, the world gets smaller there are more and more LDR’s, partly due to internet dating, social networking – MySpace, Facebook, Gaydar and partly due to a global market place where companies become international employers and they move around their employees. Dean, 36 works for and English company with interests in the far east, three years ago they sent him to work in their Hong Kong office. “Steve and I had only just started dating when I got the Hong Kong position, so it was really easy for me to up sticks and leave. It got harder and harder the more we fell in love with each other. By the end of the first year, it was touch and go if we’d make it, we’d see each other for a week every two months or so, but the price of flights is astronomical, so we had to cut that down.” He says they havekept the magic alive by being romantic, even though they are half the world away from each other. “I surprise him by sending little silly gifts, like a plastic banana, or a pair of jeans for a doll saying ‘if you carry on with the diet you’ll fit into these by Christmas!” We are also able to talk a fair bit, thanks mainly to Skype” They also make time to do things together, well sort of, for example they will both get a DVD of a film and sit and watch it together, at the same time and talk on the phone as they watch. “It’s the little things like that which keep us sane and together, things that may seem silly and foolish to others are normal and rational to us”
There are also benefits to being far apart, as Dean explains “As he’s in England and I’m in Hong Kong, we have plenty of time to do our own thing, he has his hobbies and I mine, we each have our independence, oh and it’s so much easy keeping birthday presents hidden and surprises not spoilt by each other snooping in the closet trying to find the present stash or whatever”
It makes me smile when Dean talks like that, but I know the biggest thing I miss is the physical affection of actually being with someone day in and day out. “We’ve learnt to cope with that” Dean says, “We both trust each other on the fidelity front, we have cam sex and god, when we do get to be with each other – lets just say the ground really does move, we make up for lost time!”
So, LDR’s, Dean & Steve seem to be making it work, it’s not been easy, they’ve had their ups and downs, just like any couple, but together, while apart, they can get through it. I wish them the best of luck.
As for Matt and I, well only the future will tell, can we make it through the distance? Can our love keep us strong? Keep us together? You’ll have to keep coming back to find out.
What do you think? Comments are, as always most welcome.
Jason Shaw, the Brighton blogger from The Seafront Diaries, writes exclusively for Best Gay Blogs & The Seafront Diaries.
Buddhism is perhaps even more diverse than Christianity. In fact, the differences among schools can be so vast that some scholars consider them different religions. Read more
We get so wrapped up in living our everyday lives, that we sometimes forget that we are gay. We are reminded quickly when a stranger from across the room points, giggles, or stares. Read more
Today I met a really great guy. We talked as if we had known each other for years. There was a chemistry between us that was definitely unique. I am intrigued by him and would love to get to know him more. He also was very easy on the eyes. It seemed as if though he had the same attraction to me.
Read more at Chaotic Bliss!
As the nation’s economic news worsens, and Valentine’s Day approaches, many gay men in America are re-assessing the value of true love in their lives. Read more
Statistically, it CAN be said, on average, that gay relationships don’t last as long; especially between two men. Read more
